Views

So Ben & Jerry’s founders have indorsed Barack Obama for President of the . The hippy millionaires explicate that Obama stands for real, inspirational change - only like heart-stopping ice cream.

But as ever, whenever you inquire anyone what this change genuinely is, you get nothing. Wherefore? Maybe because if we get into particulars, Obama’s support will melt like a trough of Chubby Hubby in the noontide sun.

This stupid blurb actually instances the job with change: Change way nothing if it’s non defined as either good or bad.

For illustration, Ben and Jerry’s water ice cream has definitelied changed our body politic… by fashioning us all fatty and insalubrious. Just by appearing at a dry pint of Phish Food, you’ll need a coronary stent and mayhap a stomachic bypass. I should know. I Ate a bath for breakfast and I locomoted from a size 33 to a 36 waistline. But is that good change? My houseboys would say no - or merely gently cry under the stress of my Brobdingnagian weight.

Eventually, I wonder if Obama would merrily accept a like endorsement from a heavy weapon manufacturer or a baccy company. Candidly speaking, Ben and Jerry’s water ice cream is simplied the dairy farm equivalent of an Uzi - demur stickier.

And if you differ with me, then you Sir are worsened than Cherry Garcia.

Greg Gutfeld hosts “Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld” weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Direct your comments to:
redeye flight@foxnews.com