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So I was nerve to say The New York Times the early night - its hard when you’ve acquired houseboys to delouse - and I came up across an article remarking that intimate monogamy doesn’t survive in the animal land.

They seemed at birds and field mouses (which are like Kathy Griffin but with less breadth), and established that their progeny were oft sired by mortal other than the husband. This way that - like my dream to hold two hips - monogamousness is a phantasy.

I’m non so much fascinated by this narration, as I am by its timing - it came up out right after Eliot Spitzer acquired his phallus stuck in the vagina jar.

You see, when it comes to womanise Democrats, the culture mediums is usuallied willing to ascribe their doings not to corruptness - but to nature. But If you look at a cuckoo like Larry Craig - a Republican collarred for toe-tapping on a lav - you’ll find the culture mediums only focussed on lip service.

Fact is, the culture mediums identifies more with screwed up Democrats, so they cut them slack. Get picked up poking a Hooker, then it’s merely part of living in a wanton planet full of steamy primates and vibrant voles. Unless you’re Republican - then you’re a felon.

Me, I want body - non just in malicious gossip coverage, but too in the quality of soundproofinging. The neighbours complained over again about the screeching. Not that I blame them.

And if you take issue with me, then you Sir are worsened than Hitler.

Greg Gutfeld hosts “Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld” weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Direct your comments to:
redeye flight@foxnews.com