Views

So I was meter reading the Economist - ha, simply kidding, I am just literate. Really someone read it to me and stated me how American fuming bans have actuallied killed citizenry.

How so? Well, research workers think tobacco users are motorring farther to lay where fuming is let - like places with door seating or my intricate system of burrows near the flyover. And all that someways leads to more drunk motorring and decease. To that I add: Phooey!

I read of a far more challenging theory: That fuming bans make eating houses more attractive to nonsmoking invalids - unctuous geeks who can’t manage their booze, much less conversation. Finally, they take off their string sweatpants, shave their pimpled backs and hit the townspeople, where they get imbibed and kill citizenry. See, it’s the callous and unthinking nonsmoking cars who are to fault - those stupid, fat nonsmoking jerks.

Look, I’ve ‘ver hated the fuming ban. I think the wellness threats from passive fuming are fictitious and books have existed written on the defective data behind the enquiry. Plus, fuming on the street blows: As a wide celebrity it’s hard to whiff when you’re invariably kissed and embraced by worshipful fans.

It’s all merely a cozenage to pass behavior that citizenry don’t like and has nothinging to do with scientific discipline.

Fact is, if you let tobacco users smoke only tobacco users die. That’s it. Everyone else is ticketted - that is an ignominy, because I’d truly like to occupy a few vegetarians with me.

And if you take issue with me, then you Sir are worsened than Hitler.

Greg Gutfeld hosts “Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld” weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Direct your comments to:
redeye flight@foxnews.com